In the category of “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” (or the government version “If it ain’t broke, fix it until it is”), Proctor & Gamble’s (P&G) “Don’t squeeze the Charmin” division has come up with a not-quite-earth-shattering development in the science of deuce hygiene.
In case you are not in one of the test areas, or just haven’t noticed the wavy perforation “improvement,” perhaps this may affect your buying decisions in the future.
Nonetheless, this development does raise some very pressing questions.
If this was such an obvious improvement, why did it take the P&G bumwad engineers 100 years to figure it out?
What is the environmental impact, for instance: will this cause users to consume more or fewer sheets of music roll?
It may indeed turn out that the world is actually divided into two kinds of people: straight-perforation people and wavy perforation people.
We may have to wait another 100 years to find out.
In the meantime, the Molière Citation is awarded to P&G and Charmin, for trying to squeeze a marketing advantage out of those tiny holes in between the sheets of your favorite bog fodder, or bog roll as they say in Ireland.
https://us.pg.com/blogs/charmin-reinvents-toilet-paper-smooth-tear/